As you continue to dive into 2018, we hope you'll consider this one major change to your approach: Instead of saying "I am sorry," consider the effects of a simple "thank you" instead. We'll let Katie Heck of Raising Heck tell you more:
As a busy mom of twin boys, I am always sorry for something—being late or in the way, or forgetting something important. While a sincere apology definitely has its place, I found myself wondering how often I was apologizing for not living up to what I perceived someone’s expectations of me were. As women, we are bombarded with images and opinions of what the “ideal” mother, sister and friend should look like. This creates too many situations in which we are simply apologizing for being ourselves.
I finally asked myself: What if I replaced "I am sorry" with "thank you" in my everyday conversations?
It's not as crazy as it sounds! Think of the last time you ran with a friend that was faster than you. Did you apologize for not keeping up? Why didn't you just thank your friend for running at your pace? Doing so would have switched the narrative in your head from negative (I cannot run as fast) to positive (I have amazing friends that run with me). I recently tried this when I ran a race with a friend that definitely outpaces me.
Had I apologized to her for not being fast, that feeling of inadequacy would have followed me for every mile. It would have ruined the fun and made my friend feel bad for running faster. Instead, I thanked her for having fun with me, which made the race an adventure we both shared with the same attitude—a positive one.
This switch in paradigm does not just apply to working out. Constantly apologizing at work can make your coworkers think that there is really something wrong with you. If someone catches an error you make, thank them for it! This swaps the negative feelings associated with making a mistake, to positive feelings that come when you allow someone to help you. By increasing someone else’s value instead of decreasing your own, you make yourself someone that others will look forward to working with.
Limiting how often you make apologies will also increase your friends' perception of how genuine you are. Limiting apologies for trivial things will make necessary apologies a lot more meaningful. We always tell our kids to apologize “like they mean it” and they are a perfect example of this mantra. Children do not apologize for their inadequacies—no one has told them they are not good enough yet. Why don’t we believe in ourselves in this same way?
It has been a few weeks since I've made this switch, and I find that I have a better perception of myself. By looking for reasons to thank my friends, I am more aware of the amazing group of people that surround me. I am focusing on our strengths rather that my weaknesses. This is such a little change, but has shifted my perception and spreads gratitude instead of negativity.
...and who doesn't want that? We think this advice is great, and we hope you'll apply it to the situations in your own life. Together, we can work to spread positivity. That's what we're about this year. Are you? Show us on Instagram! Tag @momentumjewelry in your posts, use #momentumjewelry and #sharethespark so we can keep up with your adventures.